Broken
by glo1196
Summary: In the darkness of her apartment Beckett fights the demons only she knows about. This is NOT a Kill Shot fanfic. I started writing this about a week ago.
1. Chapter 1

**This story has been rolling around in my head for about a week. It has been hard to write, as some of it delves close to home. It is dark and delves into a side of Beckett that we never see, but know are part of her. This story is in no way related to Kill Shot, though there may be some of the same feelings. Definitely adult oriented (M RATED), and the end is slated for Castkett joining, but stories sometimes throw even me for a loop. Not sure what else to say, not my typical story. Hope you enjoy let me know what you think?**

**Disclaimer – Not mine, definitely theirs and this season I may actually be glad about that.**

_**Broken**_

**Chapter 1**

The shades are drawn, the soft glow of the lamp in the alcove area, is the only light casting shadows into the living room. The TV sits dark and quiet in the corner, the only noise from her neighbors as they enter and leave their humble abodes. She sits in the far corner of her sofa; knees curled up to her chest, as if this particular position will be enough would make her disappear all together. The dark blanket drapes over her and is fisted for warmth and emotional protection, though she feels anything but warm or protection. The chill in her body has nothing to do with the temperature, and everything to do with her.

Kate came home after they closed the cryogenics case. The minute she walks through the doorway, the silence and loneliness creeps slowly over her without warning. The wife committed suicide on the assumption that her husband and her would come back to life in the future. It was a story of never ending love for each other; of loving someone so much you would die for them, something the ache in her chest tells her she doesn't deserve.

Kate glances around her apartment, her place of refuge, now a reminder of a life she doesn't deserve or will ever have. The strong, independent, confidant woman of the homicide division of the 12th sobs silently as she clutches her legs closer to her chest. In the silence she can't escape everything she has been running from, it crowds around her, smothers her. In the end this is the only place where she can't hide that she isn't as strong as everyone thinks.

Her failures tumble around her. The person responsible for her mother's death and her attempted murder is still out there. Roy is gone and the guilt from that is an overwhelming heavy burden she can't escape. At work she can't seem to impress Sir Iron Gates. Her work is the only place where she used to feel in control and confidant. Gates has ripped that away, leaving her questioning herself as effective, the anger from that sometimes consumes her to an unhealthy level. The tears run unbridled down her face.

Then there was Castle. He said he loved her. His words reverberate in her head constantly in an endless stream. Her dreams are plagued with the terror in his eyes when he thinks she is going to die. The look on his face when he walks into the Intensive Care unit, and the look a few minutes later when she dashes his hopes to hell. For two months she runs from him. She keeps him away knowing the hurt she was causing him; it is confirmed when he sends her an advance copy of Heat Rises. Her choices would dictate Rooks future in the cliffhanger at the end of the book. He is telling her in no uncertain words that he is as good as dead without her, and she has done nothing. She has kept him at arms length, waiting. She loves him, she knows she does, but she knows in her heart of hearts that she doesn't deserve him, and she will never be what he needs.

She is broken and he deserves so much better than that. Her heart isn't meant to link itself with someone like him, someone who would throw himself in front of a bullet to save her. She knows all the times he has shown her how much he cares and loves her. All she has ever done is push him away, lie to him and hurt him. He deserves more. He deserves to be happy; he deserves someone better than her.

Kate cuddles herself into the cushions of the sofa. She doesn't deserve his strong arms wrapped around her like they had when he pulled the wires from the dirty bomb. She doesn't deserve his fingers caressing her and refuting her claims. She deserves the cold inching its way back around her heart, the battered wall that won't let him in, the darkness, the loneliness, the constant ache in her chest.

How can she live with herself anymore when he sees him hoping and waiting for her everyday? She considers leaving, transferring to another state, or quitting the force all together. In isolated moments, that scares the shit out of her, she contemplates darker more sinister options, but as a cop and as Johanna's daughter how can she consider the cowards way out. The emotional pain of everything she carries will only stay hidden for so long, and these moments at home are crushing her. The pain in her chest a physical manifestation of everything she has worked so hard to keep under wrap.

Royce had been so right. She was living a life of "If only" and it was not only destroying her, but Castle and those he loves.

She feels the ache of wanting something so much it hurts. So much that it feels that without it you would surely die, yet getting it would destroy those you love most because she is broken, not enough, not what they all thought. She doesn't want to lose him, without him now life is empty. Her heart finally tasted what real love is and it yearns for more.

Kate's phone rings and she answers it without looking at the caller ID.

"Beckett." The sound of her voice echoes through her ears. She sounds broken, defeated, small.

"Beckett?" The concern in his voice is immediately evident, the man reads her like an open book.

"What is it Castle? I am busy." Again her heart constricts knowing she is pushing him away, when what she wants is the complete opposite.

"You ok? You don't sound well." He is worried and she hears it in his voice.

"Look Castle," she tries to sound annoyed. "What do you want?" But she can't hide the pain in her voice from him. She can't hide anything from him anymore.

"Look something is wrong, and you won't tell me over the phone. I will be there in 15 minutes." He closes his phone not giving her the chance to protest and talk him out of it.

Kate looks down at the phone in shock. He has never hung up on her. She picks up the phone to call him back and tell him not to bother coming, and it goes straight to voicemail. She leaves him a voicemail telling him he better not be coming over she has stuff to do and needs time alone. She calls him three times and each time it goes straight to his voicemail. He is purposely ignoring her calls, stubborn man.

Fifteen minutes later like clockwork the knock at the door alerts her to his arrival. She cracks the door not letting him see past her. She hides herself in the shadow of the doorway to keep him from seeing her tear stained face and swollen eyes.

"I am fine Castle. There was no need for you to come here to check on me. As you can see everything is fine." Her voice is a bit stronger than it had been but it is rough and pained.

He pushes through the door and stops immediately past the entrance. The apartment is virtually in total darkness. One small lamp near her computer is the only light in the entire place. He turns to look at her, confusion and concern spreads across his face.

"Beckett, were you in here in the dark? Were you sleeping?" His eyes run over her body taking in the over sized clothes and then the tear stained face.

"Yes, Castle now please let me go back to sleep. Move along, nothing to see here." She tries to make her voice sound strong, but it betrays her and cracks.

He steps towards her, and she looks at him like a deer in the headlights. "What are you doing?" she asks quietly as she takes a counter step back.

"Beckett, what's wrong?" Castle takes another step towards her, mirrored by her step back. This time the look on his face needs no explanation, the hurt and disappointment is there for her to easily see. He lifts his hand to touch her arm and she flinches away. His shoulders slump and he lowers his head in defeat.

"I care, Beckett. I am worried about you. This is not you. I want to help. I want to make things better for you." This time he makes no attempts towards her, and she walks away towards her sofa, putting space between them.

"Please close the door on your way out." The despair in her voice is unmistaken. She sits in the corner of the sofa and a soft sob escapes her. It angers her that she has lost so much control.

Castle hears it an as at her side instantly. "Kate, you're crying. What can I do?"

"Castle, please leave. You can open that door, walk out that door and spare yourself pain. You can take off the rose colored glasses you wear when it has to do with me, and throw them away for good. You can stop following me, and find happiness, hope and love." Her heart is breaking, it physically feels like it will stop beating soon, and that would serve her right. She doesn't meet his eyes; she can't bear what she will see.

"Kate," his voice barely more than a whisper. "You're sending me away?"

"Go Castle, before I do something that will hurt you, and those you love. Leave while I haven't destroyed you." The tears are streaming down her face steadily now. The damn breaks and the sobs become uncontrollable. Castle moves towards her and sits on the edge of the sofa right next to her. He strokes her head and she cringes as if burned.

"Damn it Beckett, what is wrong and what did I do? I obviously did something for you to act like this. Why are you doing this?" He loses his temper and yells at her. He grabs her by the shoulders and forces her to look at him.

"You want to know Castle? What? You want to know that I am broken. That I'll only hurt you? That I put you and your family in danger, just knowing me? That I don't deserve your love?" Her eyes widen and she stiffens at what she has just openly admitted. He looks at her in shock. "I'm Broken, Castle. I'm broken and I hurt those I love."

"Love?" The word escapes his lips in a whisper.

She stops talking and drops her head onto her knees. She hugs her knees up close to her chest and wishes silently that the world would open up and swallow her. He stands up in front of her, and in one smooth motion scoops her into his arms, turns and sits down with her on his lap.

"What do you think you are doing, Castle?" she yells at him. She struggles to get up. His arms lock around her keeping her in place. "Let me go, Castle."

"You don't mean it, Beckett." He holds on tighter to her as she fights him. The tears rolling down her face. Her voice is no longer loud. Her body shakes in his arms until she finally succumbed to his hold on her, as her sobs rack her body.

He holds her tightly to his chest and tries to soothe her by placing a kiss on her head, and smoothing her hair away from her face.

She hates showing this kind of weakness. She hates it more that he is seeing her like this. She tries to stand up again without success and finally settles into his arms. Her face nuzzles into his neck to avoid his painful but probing look he is giving her.

"Don't do this Kate."

**This was going to be a one shot, but I have changed my mind. I am guessing one or two more chapters at the most. I love Kate's character; she is complex, strong and beautiful. If she was real it would someone I would admire, but if she were real she would have flaws like the rest of us. Her past is littered with painful experiences she has not dealt with and eventually will have to face. This fanfic is one of those moments, where she is vulnerable and needy, happens to the best of us. Hope you enjoy and please, please, please leave me a review. Since this strays from what I usually write I would love the feedback even more. Kill Shot might kill me 13 more days!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I am so sorry about not updating my fanfics. If you read "Bets and Strip Poker" you know I have been going through a tough time. Things aren't fixed, but getting better and I am hoping to update and start some new stories. I hope this one doesn't disappoint. Please let me know what you think and review. I kind of need the encouragement right now. Thanks again for reading!**

**Disclaimer: I am not male. I do not live in California. I am not friends with the cast of Castle. My name is not Andrew, so no, they are not mine , and I can't lay claim to them. **

"Castle, haven't you been listening? I need you to go. To walk out of here and don't look back. To find someone who can be what you deserve. No walls, no secrets, no anything?" Kate exhales a breath that she didn't know she had been holding. A sob wracks through her body and the tears come begin to flow again. She hates herself for being so weak. He holds her tight and buries his head in her hair. He closes his eyes and the words escape his mouth before he can catch himself.

"Kate, I can't do that. I haven't been able to walk away from you now for years. I have watched you love other men, while my heart broke. I have watched you in numerous dangerous situations, and I have watched you as your life drained out of your body and your heart stopped beating, as I held you in my arms. I have felt the sting of rejection so many times, that the last time it almost killed me, but I can't walk away from you, not now or not ever." He closes his eyes as his confession lingers in the air around him. He feels Kate move in his lap, and a hand slide across his cheek tenderly.

"Castle?" His name has never sounded so sad, so full of things unsaid. Her hand snakes around his neck and cups the back of his head. Her fingers linger in his hair for a second before she pulls his face down to her. Their foreheads touch and their lips are so close he can feel her warm breath caress his lips. Their eyes meet as she continues to talk and he sees the hurt and pain in them.

"Did you mean that Castle? I am broken and I may never be whole. You deserve whole Castle. You deserve love and happiness, you deserve all of it without complications and walls." She closes her eyes not wanting to see his acceptance of the truth in her words.

"You aren't broken, Kate. You are human, you are hurt, but you are so much more. You are loyal and dedicated to those you love. You give closure to the families of the victims. You put everyone before your wants and needs. You are everything I want. I have spent almost everyday for the last 3 and a half years with you. I have seen it all, and I love all of it. I know the good and the bad. I need you in my life. You have changed me, I am not the man I used to be."

Tears flow down her cheeks as she stares at his face, studies every laugh line and crease she has put in his forehead. She traces his lips and runs her fingers across his jaw and to the back of his head. Something in her snaps, the wall doesn't crack it crumbles as his words crash down around her. This time she pulls him down to her lips and her lips ghost across his, barely touching each other.

"Kate? Don't do this." Her lips become more insistent on his. He feels her tongue trace his lips tenderly, and captures his bottom lip between her teeth. Her body arches in his hands and a small moan escapes one of them. He holds her tight against him, halting her assault on his senses.

"No, Kate. You are vulnerable. You will regret this and hate me. I can't let you destroy us and make this mistake with me. God, I want you, I want all of you, your heart, love, and God you body. Loving you, making love to you, holding you in my arms through the night, is what I want for the rest of my life. Not just tonight. There is no one else I have ever wanted in my life as much as I want and need you."

Kate looks into his eyes and gets lost in them. She can see into his soul at that moment, the love, loyalty, devotion and dedication she has always wanted but didn't think she deserved. Here is this man/boy baring it all for her to see, and he can't understand why she wants to kiss him from here to next Friday.

Her tears continue to flow freely, but her eyes are not dark and empty anymore. She moves and places her knees on either side of his thighs, effectively straddling him. He gasps as she lowers herself onto his lap.

She cups his face in her in her hands and looks into his eyes, capturing his attention.

"Tell me again, Castle. Tell me you love me again." She whispers as she searches his eyes for the moment he understand what she just said. The realization takes only a second and his eyes turn a steel blue instantly.

"You heard? You heard and you lied to me. Why?" His voice is suddenly strained and full of pain. "For three months I didn't hear from you. I thought you chose Josh. I thought I was done. I lived a ghost of a life for three months wondering why I wasn't enough, why I couldn't be the man you loved." His eyes closed and he let his head fall back on the sofa, wanting to put space between them, but she didn't budge. She sat there silently, letting him speak his mind.

"For three months I hardly wrote or left this house. I drank myself to sleep to soothe the ache and pain in my heart. You broke my heart; you threw me away like I was nothing. Kate, you didn't choose me, so why are you doing this now?" She could hear the anger slipping into his voice and knew she deserved all of this.

"I heard you Castle. I heard you and felt the words as they seeped into my heart and soul. Your words kept me alive. It is the last thing I remember before the darkness took me. I know that you won't believe me, but those words are what kept me alive. The hope that you didn't say them in the spur of the moment because I was dying in your arms." She brought his face back up to her level and kissed his cheek gently.

"I want us, Castle. I want you to be my "one and done." I want it all; you by my side always, Alexis and Martha, us together at the Hamptons, I want all of it. I just want to be whole for you. I want to be able to be what you deserve, not just the shattered pieces that I am." Her voice was soft, and so full of sorrow and pain. "I want to be everything to you."

Castle gathers her in his arms. "You are everything to me, Kate. Losing you almost killed me. I know this is real this is it for me. I want you exactly how you are; the woman I fell in love with. Yes, Kate I love you." He kisses her gently as if for the first time, but she is not done and pulls away.

"Castle, look at me." She waits until his eyes are open and looking at her. "That day at the funeral, I tried to tell you through my words what you meant to me. In the eulogy, I said, "If you were lucky you would find someone to stand with you." I stopped and looked at you. I wanted you to know that you were that person; you are that person. Since the hanger with Montgomery, it has only been you."

Their lips finally clash together as her words shatter the remnants of what has kept them apart. Her hands snake around his neck and finally run through his soft hair at the base of his neck. Her body arches into his when his hands slide softly down her arms and settle at the soft curve of her hips. His fingers draw her closer to him.

**There is one more chapter to this story and it is already more than half written. If you can't guess it leads to the smutty parts. I hope you enjoyed and will leave a review, if you can. Thank you for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello, trying to make up for the months I didn't post any updates. I am still feeling rather guilty. Kind of bummed that this story didn't get many reviews last chapter. I can tell you that reviews really help encourage someone to keep writing. If this story just doesn't hack it let me know and I will end it. Heck no use writing if very few are even enjoying it. Let me know if you like it or not. Hey either way it helps me write, just please keep it constructive and respectful.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle or much of anything else for that matter.**

**Chapter 3**

His lips leave her mouth to travel slowly down the curve of her neck, tasting and relishing in the feel of her porcelain soft skin against his lips. Kate tilts her head to give him better access, as he nibbles and soothes the skin with his tongue. He journeys towards her firm breasts. Castle unfastens a few of the buttons on the front of her shirt, exposing more cleavage. Her green eyes darken as his lips ghost over her scar. She closes her eyes and holds her breath, as he places wet open mouth kisses to the slightly puckered skin.

"You are beautiful, Kate. These…." He runs his tongue over the scar, his fingers skimming gently over the one by her heart. He kisses it gently, so gently that she knows he does because she is watching him. "These are proof that you are still alive, that you are a survivor. That you are a fighter and strong."

His hands travel from her hips, up under her shirt, and cup both her breasts, flicking her nipples with his thumbs over her lacy bra.

"Castle," She says his name velvety and raw. His name has never sounded so beautiful spilling from her lips. "Castle, say it again, please." Her voice is rich with want and need, but there is a pleading quality in it he can't ignore.

"I love you Kate. I love you and want you to be mine." He growls into her chest as he kisses her scar and the heart under it. "I want you to be all mine. Mine to kiss, mine to love, mine forever, Kate." His lips trail back up to her lips and capture them in a heated kiss. She responds willingly and her hands travel to his dress shirt. She slowly starts undoing the buttons and runs her fingernail over his nicely defined chest. She pulls the shirt behind his shoulders and un-tucks it from his jeans. There is no question where she is intending this to go.

"I love you too, Castle. I love you with all I have." Her voice is sure and strong. "I want you to be my one and done. Please, show me just how much you love me. I want you, Castle." She grinds herself against him causing him to close his eyes and a short breath escapes him.

"God Kate, I want you. If you aren't sure or think this is too fast, stop now, please." His fingers pull the satin straps of her bra down her shoulders as his lips follow the thin straps of material.

"Don't stop, Castle, please don't stop." Her voice breaks as the cups of her bra slip from her breasts and his lips capture a nipple. Her hands tangle in his hair, and hold him firmly in place, as her bra falls to the floor.

He stands quickly, scoops her up in his arms and walks through the doors to her bedroom. Placing her gently on the bed and he admires the beautiful woman before him. She sits up and unbuttons his pants and removes them along with his boxers. A fleeting thought crosses her mind that there was one aspect of Castle's anatomy that he was not exaggerating about, and Lanie would definitely appreciate.

Her mouth wraps around the head of his shaft and she licks the drops that have collected there. She licks his length of him and cups his balls in her hand, giving him a gentle squeeze. Her hair brushes against his thigh heightening his pleasure as chills run up his legs. He tangles his fingers in her head but does not direct her.

"God Kate, you keep that up and it will be over before we even start." His eyes roll up into his head and he sucks his breath in when she takes all of him into her mouth and pumps him a few times.

He pushes her reluctantly away, and pulls her up to a standing position before him. His eyes skim over her body, and the look he gives her makes her shiver in anticipation.

"You Ms. Beckett are wearing way too much clothes." His hands travel down her side and he traces the scar down the left side of her body. His lips kiss the length of it as she enjoys the feel of his lips and tongue on her body. Every touch, every kiss or lick ignites a fiery inferno in its wake.

His fingers play with the drawstrings of her pajama pants as he pulls on them. His lips busily feast on her taut, delicious nipples. The pants slither down over her hips and pool at her feet on the floor. It is then that he notices that she isn't wearing any underwear. His hand cups her and he feels the heat and wetness between her legs. She groans her approval as she grinds against his hand.

They back up until the bed hits her behind her knees. She sits and crawls slowly to the middle of the bed. Castle crawls up the length of her naked body, unwilling to lose bodily contact with her. Kate spreads her legs in anticipation as his hands trail over her stomach. She arches into his touch.

His fingers gently trace her bare folds and he feels exactly how wet she is for him. His fingers tease her opening, back and forth, not touching where she yearns to be touched. A helpless moan escapes her and Castle permanently committing it to memory. He dips his fingers between her folds and she shudders when his brushes back and forth over her clit, and responds by bucking her hips into his touch.

His eyes feast hungrily upon her body as it responds to him. His lips return to her nipples before he progresses down her body at a leisurely pace. His tongue dips sensually into her navel and proceeds to her hip bone where he traces it with his tongue, while his fingers stroke her clit gingerly, causing her to squirm below him impatiently. A simmering heat emanated from where his lips and fingers trailed across her skin. Kate feels his breath skim across her saturated center and draws in a labored breath. She was whimpers and fidgets under him in anticipation. She was feeling gloriously light-headed and totally out-of-control.

"Castle, Please." She begs him between whimpers. His hands snake under her firm bottom angling her core closer to his mouth. A scent uniquely hers penetrates him and he moans before licking his lips and placing a kiss on her wet lips.

Kate's body tenses as his tongue brushes lightly against her swollen clit. His name escapes her lips as in a whisper, and her hands fist the sheets around her, as her body eagerly responds to him.

His tongue swirls around the hardened nub, causing the otherwise serious detective to moan and writhe in pleasure. He draws her clit into his mouth and sucks on it greedily, while slipping a finger slowly into her warmth.

Castle watches as she arches her back at the contact and practically levitates of the bed. Her hands go to her breasts and tease her nipples, as he watches her. Kate might be a professional and by the book detective, but in bed she was totally uninhibited and free.

The heat between her legs intensifies as her release approaches. Castle's mouth is doing magical things to her, when she feels a second finger slide into her, and his fingers pump into her at an increasing speed. Kate feels the coil deep in her stomach get tighter, and what feels like fire run through her veins to every part of her body, before she experiences the most intense orgasm of her life. Her body shakes with pleasure as Castle watches her slowly come down from it.

Castle removes his fingers from her, and she watches him as he smells and licks her juices from them. Kate watches him with intense eyes as he finishes and then crawls up her body, kissing her passionately. Every inch of her body is alive and craving the man above her. She can see everything he is feeling in his eyes and she hopes he sees it reflecting in hers.

In one smooth move she flips them so he is lying below her. She grinds her wet center the length of his and watches him close is eyes and moan. She runs her fingers up and down his sculpted chest enjoying his reaction to her.

Kate lifts her body off him and takes him in her hand, pumping his a few times. She places him at her entrance and watches as they both wait in anticipation.

**So Castle won at the PCA yesterday! This fandom is awesome. Hopefully it will start getting the recognition it deserves! Stana's dress was gorgeous as she was and Nathan as always is adorable. Ok, so please leave a review and make my day, it would be greatly appreciated.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry this took so long in getting updated. Life is so getting in the way, and I just don't have the time to write as often as I want. I am not giving it up, and I hope you guys continue to read. Please leave me a review; I could really use the encouragement with everything going on. Hope it is worth the wait.**

**Disclaimer – If they were mine, Castle and Beckett would be naked at least 50% of the time. As you can see, they are not on HBO or are they even making cute Castle babies!**

**Chapter 4**

In one smooth move she flips them so he is lying below her. She grinds her wet center the length of him and watches him close is eyes and make the most delicious sounds to her ears. She runs her fingers up and down his sculpted chest enjoying how his skin responds to her touch.

The sexy detective lifts her body and takes him in her hand, pumping him hard a few times. She places him at her wet entrance and watches as they both wait in anticipation. She bites her bottom lips as the tip of him just enters her. Her legs quiver in anticipation and she closes her eyes for a second enjoying the feelings flooding her body.

She opens her eyes to meet his in a searing lustful glare, which send chills down her spine. She lets her legs go limp, and sheaths him in one motion deep inside her. Her head snaps back as the most primal sensual sound Castle has ever heard escape her lips. Her body arches over him and she reaches up and touches both of her breasts. His eyes rivet themselves to the way her fingers start working her taut nipples. She grinds down on him, causing waves of pleasure to ripple throughout every inch of his body. He watches as her head moves again and her eyes, dark with a feral passion watch him like a lioness stalks her prey. She bites her bottom lip as she lifts herself and again proceeds to impale herself with him. Every inch of her is filled to the brim; she can hardly control the animalistic passion coursing through her body.

"Castle." His name escapes her lips in a half whisper, half moan. She lifts her body away from him again, and he takes the opportunity to move them back against the headboard giving him better access to her body. Their bodies fuse together as his lips explore the crease of her neck where her pulse point is. His hands join hers at her breast mimicking her motions.

"Mmmm," she moans.

"You feel incredible, Kate." She feels his breath on her neck; his voice low and sexy, vibrates next to her ear. "You were right, I really had no idea."

She lets herself come down off her knees again and a gasp escapes her as she feels him hit even deeper in her. Her pace quickens and they find their rhythm. Her breasts glide over his chest. She watches his eyes darken further and feel his hands glide over her body. One hand finds her ass and kneads it, guiding her body over him. His fingers dig into her flesh, and she knows they will leave a mark, but can't seem to care. The other hand snakes between them and slips between her wet folds. He finds her clit and pinches it between his thumb and forefinger. She moans loudly and her breath now comes in short gasps. She is losing control of her body and her thrusts become erratic. She has never wanted to cum so badly in her life, every inch of her is burning with desire for him.

Castle flips her over, throwing her onto her back. Her hair splays around her head, and for an instant he contemplates how absolutely gorgeous she is. He shakes his head bring him back to the moment. He thrusts into her in abandonment, losing all semblance of control. He growls over her; his eyes dark with lust and love.

"God, what you do to me woman." He growls at her. "I have never wanted someone this much." His body slams into her, and he pulls her legs up high around his hips to get a better angle.

She tries to tell him that she is close but her lips aren't cooperating, she can hardly think of anything but his cock slamming into her, and making her feel incredible. All she can think of is their release, and how much she needs it right now.

"Please Castle, God, I need it, please," her voice is needy and desperate. She snakes her hands around his neck to his hair, grabs it and pulls him roughly to her lips. She sucks his bottom lip and bites it as her orgasm starts to overtake her. She shatters intensely around him. Her body shakes involuntarily, and her nails dig into his shoulders as his name tumbles from her lips.

He continues pounds into her with abandonment. His name spilling from her lips, and nails digging into his shoulders as her walls constrict around him, cause him to finally find his powerful release. He empties himself into her as his arms give out and he collapses limply on her.

He rolls off her and instantly gathers her to his chest. Their bodies melt together as she gets lost in his eyes again. She absently plays with his ear, her touch gentle and causing him chills where her fingers trail. Castle kisses the top of her head before nuzzling his face into her hair and taking in the scent of her. A satisfied smile slowly spreads across his face as he wraps his arms around her.

"I love you, Katherine Beckett." Castle says lovingly into her head. His heart is full and he knows he is never letting go; this woman is "it" for him. She completes him, and he can't live without her anymore.

"I love you, Castle." She whispers back as her hands wrap around his neck to keep him close to her. She knows that things won't always be easy, but she knows she will never have to fight anything alone again. Her walls have crumbled and she won't ever have to ask "if only?"

They will have tomorrow and the rest of their lives to figure it out.

**This is it, the end of this story. Before them is life and their happily ever after. I can't have it any other way; these two have to make it. I hope you enjoyed the story. If you do please let me know! Thanks again for reading.**


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